We were watching Lost with the kiddies in the room the other night. Oh wait. I know what you are thinking. Not exactly Wow, Wow, Wubzie, but it’s either I interrupt my ME time (and we all know that’s not happening on Wednesday nights), put them to bed and miss some vital plot-developing moment, or I let my children be permanently scarred by bad dreams of the smoke monster – that night I chose the scarring. It builds character.
Anyhoo…we were watching Lost, and CJ suddenly glanced up from his storm trooper set up and became intrigued when they flashed to a scene of Claire having her baby (must have been all of the screaming). There’s Kate, assuming the role of midwife, in between Claire’s ankles, baby pops out and the moment is over. Or so we had thought.
“Where does the baby come out?” the 4 year old asked.
Huh?
Oh crap darn.
No one answers.
“WHERE. DOES. THE. BABY. COME. OUT???”
Momma speak begins (all the while not making eye contact and trying to pay attention to what is going on on the TV.) “Out of her tummy.”
CJ: “How?”
Now, mind you, CJ a.) hasn’t had any type of sex education yet and probably won’t until he’s 30, b.) is adopted, which we also haven’t had to really discuss yet, but the question of babies in mommy’s tummies could lead down a whole other road, and c.) has a taste for the gore, and thus would love a good jungle birthing story.
So, I kept my mouth shut and let Daddy take the lead.
The Hubby: “I’ll tell you about it some other time.”
CJ: “When?”
The Hubby: “Maybe tomorrow.”
Long pause. Waiting for fight. Wanting to crawl into a hole because I know I never have one of those incredibly profound parenting answers that I read about on other people’s blogs.
CJ: “Okay.” Resumes chewing nails and waits for another glimpse of that smoke monster.
You’re kidding me. That’s it? Life is GOOD!
But, just in case, I’m going to start reading up on “How to Be a Clever Parent with ALL of the Right Answers…” They do have a book like that, right?
DON”T THEY????
Posted by madmad on March 6, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Well, actually, I don’t think you NEED the book – you are doing it exactly right: avoid, delay, obfuscate, and then, if all else fails, deny, deny, deny. “Baby? What baby? There’s no baby!” And then run and do dishes or something. Well, that’s what I do. But I guess you don’t see me writing any parenting books, either, hahahaha! Thanks for coming by today – I love meeting new bloggers!