‘Tis the Season for Tacky Advertising

Oh sweet little ringing Hershey kisses, where are you?  And does anyone but me remember the Kleenex commercials where the lonely old lady found an unexpected present on her porch?  I cried every time it aired and then wiped my nose with Puffs.

In fact, I have hardly seen any good Christmas commercials this season.  Perhaps I’m watching the wrong channels, but I don’t think I’ve even gotten a glimpse of the Budweiser horses jingling down the snow covered lane.  Those beer bells mean as much to me as Santa’s bell does to that kid in Polar Express.

No, instead I have been bombarded with NugNuts and the Virgin Whopper eaters.

How does that bring on the Christmas spirit?  Please tell me.

Have the ad agencies for McDonald’s and Burger King decided to have a contest to see who can be the most offensive without stepping over that line?  And why this time of year?!?  They are ruining my good will towards man.

I hesitantly admit that numbnuts (having grown up in the 80’s) is one of those words/phrases that has always made me chuckle.  But I certainly don’t want the 4 year old (who likes to repeat every offensive phrase that he hears) running around asking strangers if they are ‘nugnuts.’   Hmmm, perhaps we could record that on one of those Hallmark ornaments and send it to great grandma.  I think not.

And I’m going to sound a bit Charlie Brown here, but the holiday ads that do air are so…so….so commercial.   Put a red bow on a cheap trinket, play Carol of the Bells in the background, and it’s supposed to tug on your heartstrings.  Heck, even over at Ollie’s Pawn Shop, you can purchase a semi-automatic, and they’ll wrap it up real nice for you.  Santa said so on the television.

I’m putting out the challenge.  I need some clever advertising exec. to come up with a good old fashioned, make-you-wanna’-weep-cause-it’s-so-over-the-top sentimental commercial (no stupid polar bears drinking soda) that brings back the warm fuzzies.   I want a commercial that, when you hear the music, makes you feel all Christmas-y.  You know, that makes me want to teach the world to sing while holding a candle in one hand and a Coke in the other.  (Am I showing my age?)

Does anyone have a favorite Christmas commercial that lets them know the season is here?  Or is there a current gem that I’m missing out on?  Let me know.  Cause I need a little Christmas.  Right this very minute.  Even if it is for only 30 seconds.